Wednesday, August 3, 2011

REMINDER TO AMATEUR BRAINOLOGISTS

The human brain does not fit into a dichotomy. It's in three-fucking-d, bitches.

I just find it a betrayal of you know, the greatest thing to ever happen to biology to (incorrectly) summarize it into two halves. I know, it's just a loose metaphor for referring to the contrast of both reasoning and artistic processes. Which is fine, really. But I've been in too many situations where people take it as gospel. So that's who this is directed to. "One does math for you and the other draws pictures!" Oh boy. I wonder if neurologists created this sort of thing to weed out the phonies in discussions on congnition.

While we're at it let's consider revising the right-left logic behind the political spectrum, dexterity, and angles (why not?). The world is more than just ying yangs, ones and zeroes. There's too many variables, and it's at least on an x, y, and z axis. We're not Christians, Muslims, Jews, Republicans or Democrats. It's only natural that none of us are alike.

We only have Basic Cable to blame. They're convincing a nation of rightbrainleftbrainians that they're learning. In addition to supplying this myth to an unsuspecting public, those television stations are saturated with condescending, wisecracking fortysomethings that travel around, do home makeovers, toss pumpkins, drive motorcycles, eat food, and hunt for ghosts, all in the name of science.

Brains are awesome and comprehensible. The more we comprehend them more we can actually use 'em to their potential. If you gotta have some sort of metaphor, I suggest the theory that Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel incorporates the brain anatomy in GOD'S HEAD. What does this mean? Why a ninja turtle? THE THEOLOGICAL IMPLICATIONS ARE STAGGERING.

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