Friday, March 19, 2010


It's funny, considering my lifetime of video game memories, most of the ones I considered dearly stem more from the anticipation of the video game, rather than the actual playing of it. Sometimes there's a underlying story behind it, like the troubles one has reserving a copy of a game, or camping outside the parking lot for a new console. Add bonus points if said product turns out to live up to- or even exceed the amount of faith you gave in it. But how far does one actually participate in part of such anticpation? Here's how I have, in albeit limited fashion.

I'm a big fan of James Kochalka. Why? Well for starters I think he's a goddamn colorful kaleidoscopic multimedia superstar. Well, on the record, he just describes himself as just plain superstar, but anyway. He's the author of the definitive daily autobiographical comic, American Elf. He has a seemingly boundless amount of great comic books to his name, like Quit Your Job, Monkey vs. Robot, Superf*ckers, Fancy Froglin's Sexy Forest, and Peanutbutter and Jeremy's Best Book Ever, just to name a few. You can't forget his rock band, James Kochalka Superstar, whose "Show Respect For Michael Jackson" provides better rhetoric for recalling Jackson than any documentary or book you'll read.

Does my description sound like hyperbole to you? Look, even a friggin eBay listing contains the word 'awesome' as part of it's description.

But meanwhile, he's been trying to add video games to his resume. It's called Glorkian Warrior. From what I gather it looks like a smorgasbord of Metroid, Dig Dug, and probably a billion other things, but it's 100% Kochalka Quality. He's made a few references to it here and there, like his comic and his blog, though it's mostly this internet thread from 2006 that shows preliminary plans for the game as a homebrew product for the GameBoy Advance.

 From the forum. Note that it's still called Planet vs. Planet.

But it didn't pan out. Quote from Kochalka, late 2007:

I've actually expanded on the game idea quite a bit more in my mind. It'll be real good if I ever get it made... which I almost certainly won't. So I may have to turn it into a graphic novel or comic book or something.

Soon, Glorkian Warrior would show up again, as part of a T-Shirt series for unreleased video games by GameSetWatch, called "Games That Never Were". The shirt was limited to 111 prints. Not sure if they're still in stock, but the ordering link doesn't seem to work anymore.

So I bought my own Glorkian Warrior T-Shirt, and I'd be a liar to say it's not to call it the coolest t-shirt ever. Yes, ever. I mean, it's in superf*cking purple, for christ's sake. It's also a provacative t-shirt, to say the least. Y'know, considering that it's in reference to something that doesn't exactly exist. I have to come up with on the spot explanations.

"Oh, well, it's a video game, well, not exactly a video game, but a video game idea by cartoonist James Kochalka that never came to fruition. I don't know if it's going to come out or not. But it's a T-Shirt now, and I'm wearing it."

Not sure how many places I've recited that. Places like Classrooms, Grandma's House, the Grocery Store, and maybe even Jury Duty. But that's a pretty big asterick for a t-shirt origin story, and I guess for some it may be part of it's appeal, but now's the time to put that chapter to rest, by allowing Glorkian Warrior to live again.

'Cause, suddenly, theres an annoucement that not only has he teamed up with PixelJam, but they are attempting a fundraiser at Kickstarter to move this project out of the cotton and into our screens. A ten dollar donation scores you a copy of the game and a spot on the game's credits, and the pleasure of anticipating something awesome you've contributed to. And how often does that happen?


  1. I suck

    want to know why?
    Well I forgot to send money to help the effort,
    I've let every one down (-_-)
    but it's ok; when the game comes out I will buy it :)

  2. You have three more days to not suck. So, even though they've met their quota, in the meantime, you can pitch in until the moment they collect everything.

  3. i know im going to buy this game when it comes out
    and if i can somehow find the shirt of it i will copy you ivan with wearing it

  4. I really can't wait until this game comes out, considering what pixeljam has done so far.