Tuesday, January 12, 2010

WILL JAY LENO JUMP OFF OF A PLANE? (AKA: I have something to say about Jay Leno.)

This is gonna be so topical. First of all, I'd like to mention that while I was never the most dedicated viewer of Conan O'Brien in either Late Night or Tonight Show forms, his presence on TV has always been there for me like a beaten man coming home to his bottle of beer. To my friends and I, there was always something validating between the rapport of his freakyness and our equally freaky glee. That connection exists on a threshold of network television exclusive to shows like Futurama, The Simpsons, and Sesame Street.

Jay Leno though, I don't care so much about. Growing up, we knew his show to be The Tonight Show with The Doritos Guy. I know that Howie Mandel used to appear on his show, so that dispels the rumors that Bobby's World was canceled due to some freak accident involving asphyxiation. I'd hear about something supposedly funny that took place on the show, and I'd tune in the next day, and I'd be reminded why I don't watch it. Maybe I just don't know the guy? I mean, I know he owns lots of cars and stuff, 'cause that's what you do when you're so funny.

But here's the deal. I've been hearing for years that this guy wants to leave NBC, quit The Tonight Show, and move on to something else. So, under that premise, Conan inherits The Tonight Show. Like him or hate him, Jay Leno would have to say goodbye to that time slot and his beloved receptive audience. The world will have to move on.

Then, one morning, I hear from that schlock news program Good Day LA, that Leno has been offered another TV show to sustain his demographic at an earlier hour, at the expense of nightly news. They said something to the lieu of this:

"NBC has offered Jay Leno his own TV Show, where he will have all the old favorites, like Jaywalk, and Headlines.....and he might just jump out of a plane!"

....he might just jump out of a plane.

Man, if that weren't the perfect way to encapsulate how I feel about his program.

I mean, not only is watching a man jump out of a plane possibly the epitome of schlocky mediocrity, it's perhaps the successor to the age-old Jumping the Shark, and perhaps the only suitable metaphor for Jay Leno's career at NBC. ....and I'll just say it bluntly. Leno's show to some of us, existed to just merely function. Now that he's out of the Late Night spectrum, his show exists purely as a monolith of the inessential. But this is about his receptive audience, so...

What a disaster. Read as they prioritize Leno over Conan. Now they want to Conan to forfeit The Tonight Show's historic time slot over to Leno, just to fix problems outside of his own. Conan's considering leaving the show if they make this final.

So now NBC's gonna have to make a decision. Are we going to watch Conan make the fascinating transition of stretching his toes to fit The Tonight Show shoes, or are we going wait to watch Leno jump off of a plane?

Spare us and just jump off of the fucking plane now, Leno. Spring's coming soon and the masturbating bear should be coming out of hibernation.


  1. There was a time when I was young that I actually enjoyed watching the man with the big chin. Those days are long gone, after a dedicated year of watching his show I realized that he is not funny. He has no substance or character. I hate Jay Leno as a late night host. Don’t get me wrong the man might be a good person in person but watching him on T.V. it’s just awkward.
    I see him searching for laughs with the lame jokes that his writers come up with and using stupid skits like Jaywalk and that newspaper one. Once in a while I would get a laugh but not worth watching an hour of crap for one laugh. Then I hear Conana would get the spot, YAY!!!! I thought. Well Conan got it and Jay moved on, well done Jay just in time for you to stop and focus on what you really like; Cars. On a side note Jay could have been on an American version of Top Gear but the failed. So no Jay comes back on what was basically the tonight show before the tonight show and boy did it stink (suck) I saw a whole two episodes hoping he might be able to do some of the things that made his show what it was. Then I understood he would have a race track in the back for his guests to do laps and try to get the best lap time just like in TopGear, AWESOME. NOT it was some lame obstacle course.
    Anyway I’ve dragged on too long my point is they should have let Jay go and do what he wanted to do, didn’t seem like he wanted to be on T.V. anymore anyway. Conan although he seemed more funny on Late night has been overshadowed by Jay and not been given a fair chance at being the late night leader. I hate Jay, I miss Conando

  2. I don't think you should worry about dragging or rambling... shouldn't this area be for shuffling thoughts around anyway?

    Personally, I think that Jay's new exploits in TV magic should revolve around his chin. Sounds like something for HBO, and I'll pay my subscription if he does it.

    Heck, if he were in a respectable show about automobiles and he brought his personality out to something with more passion it might turn out to something I'd like to watch. I had no idea that they shot pilots for the domestic Top Gear though.

    In the pantheon of the rest of the late night hosts, I'd like to say that Leno sticks out like a sore thumb, but he doesn't even seem to stick out at all. He appears invisible.

    I hear much about his supposed audience, and how they love him so much. I guess they find the others too niche? Personally, I think Jimmy Kimmel has wide appeal, and he comes across as being more substantial 'cause he doesn't appear to try so damn hard to be funny. There's more underlying personality going on. An even better example, Craig Furguson.

    Here's a nice gem of a situation from Leno's final Tonight Show episode. After a few jokes in his monologue, which was met with lukewarm reaction, he pulls just one more. "Studies show that 65% of men are married to Megan Fox.". Nobody noticed the joke, and he just shrugs and moves on.

    It's a fiasco. I thought about using the phrase "putting your money where your mouth is", when it came to Leno's condition. It sounds apt, but considering everything that's going on with him, I just can't wrap my head around it. Help.

  3. ok well I've been trying to respond to this a few times but every time my webz gets disconnected. So lets try again...

    I agree about Jay Leno, in fact I kind of don't like him as you might understand by now but if he were to move on to a show about cars where he is very knowledgeable about then I think he will have greater success rather then his re hash of the tonight show but at an earlier time slot.
    From what I understand he was going to be th host of the American TopGear along side Jerry Sienfeld and Tim the TOOL... man Tailor.
    They decided it could not happen because there was no way NBC could have a show where three guys make fun of or praise a car and or its manufacturer because American car companies know they make the poorest quality cars and knew that a show that aired on American TV that made fun of their cars would do very negatively to their sales of said cars.
    Well the idea was doomed from the start... but to be honest I still rather watch Jay and Jerry and the Tool talk about cars and drive them and have guest stars go around a track then watch Jay continue to make an ass of himself.
    That's all

  4. Jeez. Great, now you got me excited over a cancelled show. You think it's the media's job to reflect the mirror back on what's wrong, no? Hmm. According to Wikipedia, the 'official' reason for it's canned status is due to the failure of the 'other car themed show' Knight Rider. Which I find hilarious.

    Like you said, concerns came about the show being produced on commercial television. I don't know how realistic this sounds but, I wonder why didn't they shop it to PBS. If they played something like that, you'd think viewers would value something like that and would be more influenced to support public television, instead of the stupid shit they try to shove in the schedule during pledge drives. Who wants to watch documentaries on The Mammas and Pappas again?

    There's a quote there saying that one of the causes for concern was that the focus groups couldn't understand the lingo. Ugh. Nice to know that TV's interest in the LCD still stands strong.

  5. I don't know if PBS could afford to host the show on their station. BBC and PBS are very different you know, BBC has the money to pay for the insurance on the ULTRA high priced cars that TopGear has on their show. Not to mention all the stunts that they pull off, I tihnk you should see a few episodes on youtube or something because the only real stations that could afford a show like this would have to be NBC or Fox or some of the big time leaders of American TV. However only the free PBS abililty to say anything they want about any car could do it right (not sure that made since).
    I would love for US TopGear to play on PBS I want to hear Jay and Jerry say the worst about the shit cars that we make here in Detroit and maybe then our autos will be more to the status of our Euro and Asian market cousins.

  6. Yeah. Forgot that they buy the cars they riff on. Oh well, I'm sure the hosts can afford it. Another mystery solved.

  7. Haha I don't think Jay Leno or Jerry want to spend their money on crappy. Ex. On the BBC TopGear the three hosts were going to test drive three of the new muscle cars that US auto makers had released and they had agreed to let them borrow a few of the cars. Well after sometime the US auto makers decided they would not let them drive the cars because they didn't feel confidant in their work. Well guess what? The three guys just went out and purchased the vehicles and test drove them and yeah they sucked.