Jay Leno though, I don't care so much about. Growing up, we knew his show to be The Tonight Show with The Doritos Guy. I know that Howie Mandel used to appear on his show, so that dispels the rumors that Bobby's World was canceled due to some freak accident involving asphyxiation. I'd hear about something supposedly funny that took place on the show, and I'd tune in the next day, and I'd be reminded why I don't watch it. Maybe I just don't know the guy? I mean, I know he owns lots of cars and stuff, 'cause that's what you do when you're so funny.
But here's the deal. I've been hearing for years that this guy wants to leave NBC, quit The Tonight Show, and move on to something else. So, under that premise, Conan inherits The Tonight Show. Like him or hate him, Jay Leno would have to say goodbye to that time slot and his beloved receptive audience. The world will have to move on.
Then, one morning, I hear from that schlock news program Good Day LA, that Leno has been offered another TV show to sustain his demographic at an earlier hour, at the expense of nightly news. They said something to the lieu of this:
"NBC has offered Jay Leno his own TV Show, where he will have all the old favorites, like Jaywalk, and Headlines.....and he might just jump out of a plane!"
....he might just jump out of a plane.
Man, if that weren't the perfect way to encapsulate how I feel about his program.
I mean, not only is watching a man jump out of a plane possibly the epitome of schlocky mediocrity, it's perhaps the successor to the age-old Jumping the Shark, and perhaps the only suitable metaphor for Jay Leno's career at NBC. ....and I'll just say it bluntly. Leno's show to some of us, existed to just merely function. Now that he's out of the Late Night spectrum, his show exists purely as a monolith of the inessential. But this is about his receptive audience, so...
What a disaster. Read as they prioritize Leno over Conan. Now they want to Conan to forfeit The Tonight Show's historic time slot over to Leno, just to fix problems outside of his own. Conan's considering leaving the show if they make this final.
So now NBC's gonna have to make a decision. Are we going to watch Conan make the fascinating transition of stretching his toes to fit The Tonight Show shoes, or are we going wait to watch Leno jump off of a plane?
Spare us and just jump off of the fucking plane now, Leno. Spring's coming soon and the masturbating bear should be coming out of hibernation.