Saturday, September 5, 2009

SEARCH DOG KNOWS ALL YOUR SECRETS (AKA a tired expose on techno-sexual matters)

The other day, reaping the benefits of my recent investigation of readibly available computer information, I thought of what I had to say of the computer lock keystroke:
Perfect for those who surf for pornography in public spaces.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, har har. Well, there's a story behind that. But I'll get to that in a moment.

Obviously, the subject of sexual matters on the internet on the internet has been researched, ridiculed and talked about to death, for decades even. Technology and sexuality have always been interlinked and now more than ever it is engraved in our cultural landscape. Which also means the joke of it hasn't been considered funny since the AOL days, but I have Mozilla to thank for making it funny again. (if only momentarilly)

The feature isn't the thing that's funny, it's the reaction that it inspired. Particularly the phrase, "Many people believe that the primary use case for private browsing mode is viewing pornography." I remember watching the video promoting the feature just bringing up a birthday scenario, which only came out sounding evasive. Regardless of use, it's a great idea. What about being able to browse websites you don't trust? I mean, you still gotta worry about what you send out, but at least you don't have to worry about anything going in. I thought that should've been the focus.

Well, I guess this is only a microchasm of what goes on with technical innovation and sexuality. Both have always been concurrent, so whenever a new medium comes up, someone's always going to find a way to exploit it in a sexual context. From the first dildo to cell phones. Their relationship is still not yet realized by most, since these days your local channel five morning show is having a field day talking about how teenagers are vulnerable to their own hormones and the dangers of sexting. What? Oh dear god how could they? ...and what is this 'phone sex' you're talking about? Surely this didn't exist prior to that, either? (notice the lede in that article referring to it as being shocking while not being unusual? I wonder how that works) Well, I guess we also have our societies' code of acceptance to blame for excluding sexuality as part of human nature, since otherwise we'd be doing a better job of anticipating such 'shocking' activity.

Anyways, porno in public spaces.

Once, when broadband in public libraries was a new thing (and in my area, the only place to get it), some creepy looking guy in a Cosby sweater reserved the computer in the farest corner of my local library. I had signed up for the session following that. When I noticed his time was up, I approached him and saw that he was nervously looking everywhere, on the lookout for any onlookers. That's when I tapped him on the shoulder, and told him it was my turn. He walked away, leaving about fifteen windows full of simultaniously streaming dog beastiality videos playing, excruciatingly slow, bogging down the computer. Processors were less than 400mhz then, and ALT-F4 wasn't responding fast enough. So I had to hit reset.

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